Why to discover your WHY?

 

It’s a lovely rainy morning. Cold breeze is splashing on your face passing by your window pans. Soothing sound of drizzling out there is like music to your ears. You feel like crawling back in your bed and don’t want this dream to be over. Don’t feel motivated enough to push yourself for workout. It’s been 6^th day in a row since you started and continuing your workout. But now you are finding it hard to keep the momentum up, stay motivated and consistent. Day by day the choice of lazy mornings, or late-night parties, watching late night thrilling web series with French fries & coke or work deadlines, household chores etc. are winning over waking up in the mornings or healthy diet over the day. Its so hard to stay motivated…! You must have wondered how to stay motivated, dedicated, disciplined and consistent in fitness journey or to say, in any area of life. All these qualities are so elusive.! They are with you, and you feel super charged, but soon are a thing of past. You find yourself back in your old mundane daily routine before you even know…!

Many of us try to keep motivated through watching motivational videos, reading self help books and simply pushing for newer habits to be formed with time. Some say if you stay there for 90 days then the road is smoother...! But is 90 days per se is a small stint? Whole Mahabharata was over in 18 days...! In my view, all this is manipulation.! MANIPULATIONS….! Yes you heard it right. It’s like you are cheating your own self. Its like trying to manipulate your own emotions, feelings, or likings. And something which begins on weak foundation is not going to last. It is not going to help sustainably. Very soon you will find yourself not motivated enough to watch those videos or read those books itself and 90 days looks like years.

Naturally the next question would be then ‘What the hell on earth works?’ If not even motivational material, then what will help? Are we destined to live with an un-healthy sub-optimum body? Well… its not like that. Hold on...! I am going to share something which can really make a difference to your life. To understand further you need to understand brain physiology briefly. Our actions are influenced by our motivation and motivation is more of emotion then a thought of our rational mind. Who does not know that to be healthy one needs to eat well, think well and move well...? But does knowledge or our rational thinking helps? The answer is a straight ‘No’. Had it been the case the whole world would have been healthier...! Rationally we can not sustain in the long run till we are emotionally connected to what we are doing.

In fact, when we try to motivate ourselves by motivational videos, books, seminar, lectures etc. we try to ignite our emotions. But it does not sustain for long and fizzles out before we know. We need something very strong which drives our emotions. And for that one needs to discover his WHY! 

Once you discover your deepest reasons WHY (something which touches you emotionally); WHY you are in business, WHY you want to lose weight, or WHY you want to travel to somewhere, nothing can get in your way of making it happen. “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’ – Victor Frankl. No amount of knowledge can drive your emotions, only your experience (anticipated or experience) drives your emotions. Once you hook yourself to your WHY; How to do and What to do becomes automatic. Your mind will become creative to find out new innovative ways to do things instead of finding out ways how not to do something.

So, one should sit down and ask straight ‘Why do I want to lose weight?’ Some of the plausible replies can be.

-       I want to look good. Dig deeper and ask again ‘Why you want to look good?’ attach yourself to the experience of looking good. Ask deeply is really looking good is emotionally so important to you. See the emotional impact on you of not looking good. See how the situation would be in next couple of years if you don’t start working on your health. Visualize the unpleasant feeling it is going to give in next two year.

-       I want to be fit enough to play with my kids. Again, dig deeper in above lines.

-       I want to be healthy. It’s a valid WHY but you need to look deeper into the emotional aspect of this. Ask yourself why you really want to be healthy? See how pain of not being healthy and gain of becoming healthier impacts your emotions. Without touching your emotions mere rational cause cannot drive you longer.

-       I need to improve my stamina – Again enquire deeply in above lines.

-       I want to be more confident and excel in my business life.

-       I want to be a role model for my kids etc.

The bottom line is you need to find your WHY and connect to that emotionally. A rational why will not help. You need to touch your emotions.  Look deeper into yourself touching your deep desires or pain you want to avoid. Keep asking yourself till you are really touched and moved. Finding and sticking to your WHY is not a one-time job. Rather it’s a process and needs repeated enquiry from your own self.  It isn’t a one size fits all thing. What motivates someone else may not get you off the couch. Once you drill down to your WHY, make it real in your imagination as well as actions. Visualize it time and again, imagine and feel the experience attached to it more often.

Trust me once you touch your inner desires, nothing can stop you – not even the biggest real challenges in life, leave aside the daily mundane affairs which currently buckles you down easily. Losing weight or game of life is more of a mental battle then physical one. Physicality follows the way you want if you win it mentally. Don’t look for motivation, find your WHY. If its important to you and moves you emotionally, you will find a way. If its not, you will find an excuse…!